She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the condom got lost in my hair
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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