I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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