So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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