Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
