The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
