Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think your dad took our porno
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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