Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
