I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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