Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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