I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
