he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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