$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
