I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
