playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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