theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
