But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
