no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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