Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
