i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
