I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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