Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
