My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
