shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
