He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
