need another drink. this is the easiest way
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Found your dick twin last night
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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