i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
