just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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