sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY