there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
