I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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