Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
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I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
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