my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
