I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
