The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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