So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
