The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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