Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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