Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
