She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
