What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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