I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
