I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
