Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
