just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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