Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
