i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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