she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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