Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
plz talk dirty to me
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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