Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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