doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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