Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So vagazzling was a success
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