So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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