I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize