omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
