you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
