i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
