I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize